Dear S,

I haven’t really been myself lately. It’s been more than 5 months since we last talked like we were so in love with each other. Now, in less than two weeks, you will be celebrating your 29th birthday and I want to let you know that not a day goes by that I haven’t thought of you. Every single day, even to this day, I am still hoping that you’d be back and wake me up from what seems to be a nightmare. Just when I’m ready to settle, leave everything that I have and start from scratch just to be with you, you’d call me and tell me it’s the end. It’s so devastating that each day I wake up, I find it harder and harder to mask this depression and make it feel like I’m okay, I’m doing great, and this isn’t going to affect my work. I have decided to keep myself busy. I took extra jobs, enrolled myself to art and leadership classes, I’ve also decided to run and hit the gym, so when I go home I’d feel tired and go to straight to bed. I realized that I can build myself again and be productive. I still think about you everyday. Every single memory never seems to grow old. That almost two years we’ve been together was great and it helped me realize that I’m ready for bigger responsibilities in life and I can think maturely. Who would’ve thought that post online can lead to something beautiful?

Hey, I miss the times when we’d go to a movie house and you’d stop me from buying chips and sodas because they’re not good for my body, instead, you’d get me nuts and apples that we can both enjoy. Also the times when you’d get mad at me because I skipped my meal or I’m staying too late in the office. Those times can’t help me but smile and fall in love again. Thanks, for looking after me and for consistently showing you’re concerned, at least for the times we’ve been together. As painful as it may sound, I need to let go of those memories now so I can also move forward just like you did. Thanks for everything.

 

-J

 

Kostel Sv. Ludmily

 

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